“Friday the 13th” (1980) is the heartwarming tale of a devoted mother’s attempt to run a successful summer camp business. It’s basically “Mommie Dearest” with more machetes and fewer wire hangers.
Directed by Sean S. Cunningham, this film offers valuable lessons for campers everywhere:
1. Skinny-dipping is never a good idea. Neither is premarital sex. Or breathing.
2. Hockey masks are the must-have fashion accessory for any lakeside getaway.
3. When you hear strange noises in the woods, always investigate alone.
Our antagonist, Jason Voorhees, is the poster child for why swimming lessons are important. He’s also a master of hide-and-seek, though his seek game needs some work.
The film’s soundtrack, featuring the iconic “ki-ki-ki, ma-ma-ma” sound, is perfect for those moments when you want to freak out your roommate or spice up your morning alarm.
The special effects by Tom Savini are a delightful smorgasbord of creative deaths. Who knew the human body contained that much fake blood?
“Friday the 13th” teaches us the importance of family bonds, even if those bonds involve avenging your presumably dead son by murdering a bunch of teenagers. It’s a touching sentiment, really.
In conclusion, this film is a splashing good time that will make you appreciate your boring, non-murdery camping trips. It’s the perfect movie for your next lakeside retreat!
Warning: Side effects may include an irrational fear of camp counselors, lakes, and any day that falls on the 13th of the month.
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